You know how when you open a fortune cookie, sometimes you play that game where you say "in bed" after each person's fortune? So the message turns out like "you are a person of great agility - IN BED!"
Well I think people who are considering having children should use their own little version of this game in order to cultivate a healthy perspective on what their lives will be like once they have kids. For example...
-think about cleaning your house...washing dishes, vacuuming, changing sheets, dusting, cleaning toilets...WITH A TODDLER who is opening the cupboards, slamming doors in the house, unrolling the toilet paper, and trying to eat the dog's food.
-think about your social life...going to the movies (I haven't done this in so long, I hardly remember how), going to a sporting event, celebrating an occasion at a nice restaurant...WITH A BABY who needs constant attention (those binkies don't go back in on their own you know), a feeding every three hours (if you're lucky) and frequent diaper changes, punctuated by periodic spit up episodes.
-think about the things you enjoy doing...sleeping in on Saturday mornings, staying out late on Friday night, leaving for a weekend jaunt to the country at a moment's notice...WITH THREE KIDS who each have their own needs, don't understand your pleas to JUST GET ALONG or JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE, and are only made quiet by high-tech electronics.
Everything you used to do takes longer, requires more patience and planning and is harder than it used to be. OF COURSE, I could not write this without making clear that the joys of having children far outweigh any inconvenience they supply...but I guess I'm just pointing out that some days it's easier than others to see that joy through the disarray that your house and mind have dwindled to.
While there's a part of me that thinks if people thought this way, they would have a better idea of what they're getting into...I can't tell you how many people told me to go to the movies and out to dinner with my WH while I was pregnant...and I didn't really adhere to their suggestions either. So I guess parenthood is something you can't really explain to anyone - you just have to live it.
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1 comment:
isn't that the truth, you just have to live it.
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