Chubby Wubby was a Puppy

I took EDD (our Emotionally Disturbed Dog) to the vet last week. She hadn't been in almost a year and was due for some shots. OBB (Our Brilliant Baby) was very amused at having a seat mate in the back seat of the car and spent most of the car ride to the vet leaning out the side of his car seat and grabbing big handfuls of her fur. Then, he would raise his hand in the air, open it and watch the pieces that came out in his hand float through the back seat. I figured as long as he wasn't eating it, I shouldn't complain about his chosen form of entertainment.

When we got to the vet's office, Shelby cried and whimpered non-stop. And she shook a little. But it was mostly the crying. So much so that one of the nice ladies behind the counter looked at me while she was on the phone, ordering test results for a dog named LuLu -"that's L-U-L-U!" she was saying - ok, does it really matter if they spell Lulu wrong at the doggie lab? Anyway, I got that look that meant - "can't you do something about your dog?"

Once we got into the examination room, things didn't get much better. It took three of us to hold EDD on the table while she was poked and prodded and honestly, violated in a number of ways. All during this, OBB sat in his stroller taking the things I would lean over with one free hand and give him to play with (a water bottle, a cheerios container) and promptly drop them on the floor.

So what was the verdict you ask? I'll give it to you in four words or less....My Dog Is FAT. That's right. She's obese actually. They even gave me a brochure entitled "Your Obese Dog". You know it's bad when they feel you need reading material to get across what they can't seem to convey in words or what you didn't notice occurring right under your own roof. Yes, I have noticed her backside expanding over the past few months, but I never thought that she could manage to gain almost 20% of her body weight in a year.

As a result of this discovery, we are instituting a strict diet for EDD in our house, which starts with her not receiving her very own hot dog every time we have them (which is like once a week). Yes, for those of you who knew me pregnant, the hot dog obsession has not stopped. Perhaps it has been tempered a little, but it certainly hasn't left our weekly menu.

EDD's diet will also include me measuring her food in a measuring cup (kindly supplied by the vet) every day. And the vet generously welcomed EDD to come into the office anytime to get weighed ("it's free!" she said in the tone that indicated I should be more excited than I looked). Does she honestly think I'm going to drag my dog into the vet on a regular basis for some Doggie Weight Watchers style meeting to note her progress in losing the 9 pounds she needs to shed?

So to the list of ailments that EDD has (fear of strangers, continuous heavy breathing, bad breath, relentless shedding, and severe separation anxiety), we can now add obese.