What I learned this week

This week I learned that:

-You had better be nice to everyone because you never know which of the two people you are talking to is the incompetent one. This was revealed to me during my latest struggle between the fine employees of our health insurance company and the dutiful public servants in the medical billing department of our county’s infant and toddler services program. One claimed to have sent paperwork; the other claimed not have received it. Could they talk to each other? Noooo, that would be asking too much. So four phone calls, three hours, two customer service representatives and some serious finger pointing later, I got to the bottom of it, and the episode was concluded with me being told to wait so that said paperwork could be processed. There was nothing I could do but wait. You gotta love health insurance.

-Being a stay at home mom does not ensure that you’ll be there for every special “first”. One afternoon this week, I was enjoying OBB’s afternoon nap time by cleaning up my desk and getting some bill paying done. Baby Girl, having just been fed, was next to me on the floor, playing with the dangling animals on her Baby Einstein mat. I get up for a minute to run upstairs and check on OBB. I come downstairs and Baby Girl has rolled herself over. That’s right. I missed it.

-Sometimes a crying toddler can be your biggest asset.
This week I made a trip to our County Courthouse to work out a little "misunderstanding” between myself and an officer of the law. I left my house at 7:30 a.m. in freezing rain to give myself enough time to make the long push with a double stroller from the parking lot to the courthouse. Once inside, I waited in the security line and was patted down, waved with a wand and otherwise publicly violated. If you can, just picture OBB standing with his arms out while a police officer waved a wand over his little two-year-old body. Oh and even better, I had to literally lift Baby Girl out of her car seat so she could be wanded too.

When we finally got to the courtroom, OBB was less than compliant. Sitting still really wasn’t his thing and me grabbing his hand and making him walk with me to approach the bench to speak with the clerk before the judge arrived didn’t go so well. His tears of indignation evolved into full blown weeping for everyone in the courtroom to hear. At that point, some nice courtroom official asked me if I would like to wait outside with my children and be called in when my case came up as OBB clearly wasn’t “feeling well”. This was perfect. He could run around the hallway, make as much noise as he wanted, ask me every question he could think of (most of them were “what’s that, Momma?”) and he wouldn’t bother a soul.

So when our turn (a.k.a. my speeding ticket case) came up, we went through the two sets of double doors and straight down the long aisle, right up to the bench to see the judge. “I understand you have a sick child, ma’am,” thundered the judge’s voice, reminding me completely of the judge from My Cousin Vinny. “Well I think you should get home and take care of him, young lady.” All I could utter was “yes sir”. “Case dismissed!” he bellowed. And then you never saw a double stroller leave a courtroom so fast in your life. Someday, when OBB is about 30, I’ll have to tell him about the time he got me out of a speeding ticket.


And to end on a high note,

-The right underpants can make all the difference. OBB is not potty trained yet. We haven’t really tried. What with having a baby and then the holidays, I decided I would wait until we came closer to his third birthday to attempt it. I ordered some children’s books depicting every aspect of the potty-going process: My Very Own Potty, and Too Big for Diapers were two of the standouts. So the other day I was reading OBB stories before his nap and he discovered a potty book. He wanted me to read it immediately. When we got to the end and the little boy got his own big boy pants, I asked OBB if he had big boy pants – he knew just where they were and wanted to put them on. So we did. And thus, potty training has begun in our house. I even let it go today thinking it was a one day thing, and we reverted back to diapers without much fanfare. However, when OBB woke up from his nap this afternoon, the first thing he did was run and sit and poop on the potty. I was on the phone and came upon this scene with some surprise. Pants down, diaper off, bum on toilet, making it happen. What was the impetus for this, you ask? I’ve got three words for you…Lightning McQueen Underpants.